Friday, May 17, 2013

Harry Potter Readalong, Deathly Hallows I: "Oh well, lucky we've got such a large supply of basilisk fangs, then."




UGH THIS BOOK OMG.

I'm crying more this time than the first time. Probably because the first time, I was in a race against the clock to finish it since EVERYONE WAS READING IT AT THE SAME TIME and I knew if I didn't finish it in two days, no one would want to still be talking about it when I was done. So this time I get to emotionally feel every single heartwrenchingly terrible thing. Awesome.

Last time I didn't cry over Hedwig. This time I was a mess. Complete mess, sitting in my living room, sobbing over my book. One of the things I love most about J.K. Rowling is she can have you weeping on one page and then laughing on the next  damn one, leaving you a hiccuping, laughing, crying wreck of a human being.

KREACHER. And the wedding. And everyone being all grown-up and Ron learning how to not be an asshole to Hermione and eeeeverything omg. I don't know how you can't just sob through the whole book.

In conclusion, here's stuff from its midnight release. Because memories.


REMEMBER THESE LINES?

Deathly Hallows, you are in fact my favorite.


Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Vote for Me and Rope Your Family Into This — I Have More Hilarious Pictures

I googled Panda Celebration and got this: 


Just one of the many items relevant to your life and interests you will find on this blog. Written by me! Now, how can you support more things like panda celebration and this guy? And stuff like this?:


IT'S A CAT GONDOLIER

OBVS BY VOTING FOR ME AT BOOK RIOT'S THING. What you do is you go to that page and you click the 'like' under the title. So yeah, it's a Facebook thing. And if you share it with people and tell me, I will draw you a card using Pixlr (in other words, an extra terrible card). If you just like it, I will find you a hilarious internet picture.

Some might call this bribery. I call it Awesome Unicorn Coincidental Gifting Powers.

But for reals, there are other posts on Book Riot's thing. But all of them are about dudes and none have GIFs. Do you really want to live in a world where THAT'S the thing that's supported? I didn't think so.

Shipping Is My Whatever You Spend Too Much Time and Energy On

Another season, another sighting of Fast-Walking Couple on my way to work.

Here's the thing: I love walking. I walk to work every day. It's about a mile and a half, and I take it at a medium pace. I did not realize how unused I have become to fast walking UNTIL Fast-Walking Couple passed me and I suddenly thought 'My readers should -- nay, DESERVE TO KNOW if they are married yet.' So I tried to catch up to them. And OH HOW I TRIED. And oh how my shins yelled at me. But for you -- FOR YOU -- I did it. Looking a bit sweaty and disheveled, I caught up to them at a light and -- nope. No ring. I even checked the right hand in case they're German.




Things learned:


1. She has maybe lost weight, and her highlights look awesome.


2. He is still handsome.


3. They still kiss at the street corner when they say goodbye.


I've been shipping couples since maybe age 11. Probably before, but not with any degree of intensity (except regarding Ryu and Chun-Li from the game Street Fighter 2 -- I revved myself up to play by saying that the opponent had made disparaging remarks about Chun-Li and now Ryu was going to kick his ass).


I wish I could say the first couple I book-shipped was something classy like Laurie/Jo from Little Women, but unfortunately I didn't read that until I was 18. Instead it was Simon and Angelica Fear from R.L. Stine's Fear Street series. Sure, they might have been evil, but THEY UNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER.Also they wore old-timey clothes and their sleeves had ruffs and that's really all I ask for.



Book ships are nice as opposed to TV ships, because there's usually just one writer writing, and it doesn't take years and years to finish (unless you're a George RR Martin fan, amirite?), and you don't have to worry about advertisers or executive producers so much. Of course, you're screwed if the author dies and you're in the middle of a series, but them's the breaks.

Ships can be distinguished from just normal "Oh, I enjoy reading about these two characters getting together in an eventually romantic sense" by how actively you participate in wanting them to get together. If you:

1. make a mixtape for them
2. write fanfiction
3. go on tumblr and make/reblog graphics
4. find like-minded people and have in-depth discussions, citing textual evidence for your ship (or force this evidence on your uncaring friends)

then you are shipping a couple.

Regarding book couples, I have playlists for: Paul/Helen (The Historian), Beatrice/Benedick (Much Ado About Nothing), Ernest/Madame Defarge (Tale of Two Cities), Mrs Danvers/Rebecca (Rebecca), Lord Peter Wimsey/Harriet Vane (Lord Peter Wimsey series), Scarlett/Melanie (Gone With the Wind), Lucius/Narcissa (Harry Potter), Antipholus of Ephesus/Adriana (Comedy of Errors).

This has been a part of my psyche for so long, I don't know how people who don't ship things work. What do you think about? Lawn sprinklers? Bacon? The rest of the world seems to have a preoccupation with bacon that I lack, so maybe that's what happens to shipping energy when it goes unused.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Cheer up! In the future you'll look back on this time with horror

Looking through my old notes on the Lord Peter Wimsey series makes me supremely happy. Mainly because before I had a book blog, I didn't even try to look at something's "literary merits" (yes, this blog is in fact me trying that). Instead it was all:

"Greensleeves will never be the same again. She's SO FLIRTING WITH HIM."

"HARRIET LOVES PETER AND HE BOUGHT HER CHESSMEN AHHH."


"She's so just waiting for him to make a move. COME ON, PETER! SHE CRIED ON YOUR SHOULDER."


And my first note on the book I was reading concurrently with the Wimsey series:

"Twilight's fairly stupid."

Seeing what you thought of books five years ago -- or heaven preserve us, ten years ago -- makes you appreciate how much of an idiot you were back then. And there is a certain kind of comfort knowing that ten years from now, your thoughts on something like Finnegans Wake will be seen by FutureYou as so much piddle. I'm fairly confident there are not many readers who, as they go on, regress in their literary tastes. "I used to be a Faulkner man, but Charlaine Harris just speaks to me now."




So knowing that FutureYou will be at best condescending to and at worst disgusted by CurrentYou should provide a form of relief. "Ah, I shall get better. That scene in Gatsby when Daisy cries over Gatsby's shirts may have been frustratingly nebulous in its meaning when I was 15, but now I am all over that shit. And someday I will perhaps find Woolf stupid-easy and not be agonizing over paragraphs in Mrs. Dalloway going 'I know the clouds mean something BUT WHAT WHAT DO THEY MEAN WHY IS SHE TALKING ABOUT THEM DAMN YOU WOOLF.'"

I, for one, am greatly comforted by the thought of FutureMe thinking back to CurrentMe as a complete moron.

And for those of you for some reason think your brain has always been as fantastic as it currently is, I ask that you look back to papers written in high school, for there you will find something along the lines of: ""Poor Fantine! I mean, I don't want to sound stupid, but this book's sad! :)"

Think well on these things.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Reading Pathways: George Eliot

All right, folks, I’m entering Book Riot’s START HERE, Vol. 2 Write-In Giveaway, and obviously I chose to write about George Eliot, because she's the greatest (also because we don't talk about her nearly enough).

+++++

Congratulations! You've heard of George Eliot; found out perhaps after an embarrassing conversation that she is in fact a she; and now wish to dive into her body of work. BUT WHERE TO START. This is a question that the internet (meaning I) can answer. 

Eliot wrote seven novels + one collection of stories in her lifetime, but you can absolutely get away with reading just three of them. Before getting into that, though, let's look at some background info:

1. As mentioned above, she is a lady.

2. She's a Victorian, but much more of the Trollope variety than the Brontë. Many more gruff but kindly old people and discussions of getting pipes whittled than young people standing on the moors, staring into the middle distance. Consequence of north vs. south upbringing? Get out your Gaskell and let's discuss.

3. She was fiercely intelligent and translated Ludwig Feuerbach's The Essence of Christianity from its original German.

4. In a total surprise move, her novels about the 1832 Reform Act (Felix Holt the Radical) and the Dominican friar Savonarola in 15th century Florence (Romola) haven't aged too well.

Now. If you want to ease into the Eliot and her overall Contemplation of Humanity, a nice beginning is:

1. Scenes of Clerical Life. It consists of three stories, was the first fiction of hers published (in 1858 at the age of 39 — pay heed, struggling writers), and sets the stage nicely for her themes of country life; strong-yet-oh-so-human men; and women who want to be virtuous, but suffer. Plus you get bonus points for picking up a George Eliot work that most people haven't read. Some might point you towards Silas Marner, but that's only because it's Eliot's shortest novel and therefore the one most frequently assigned in school. It also kind of sucks.

 


2. The Mill on the Floss. I'm actually not the biggest fan of this, but it's a classic, gets referenced a lot when people discuss Eliot, AND it is semi-autobiographical. She went through a major religious phase before subscribing to her philosophy of morals & ethics over a particular religion, and the main character goes through the same fervidly spiritual path as a teenager. Mill involves a young girl (who lives in the country, of course) and her relationship with her brother, her struggles with her faith, and a delightful love triangle that happened over a century before Twilight kicked that trope up a notch.

 



3. Middlemarch. Here we go. This is it. You want to read George Eliot, you have to do this one. It's inescapable. Virginia Woolf called it "the magnificent book which with all its imperfections is one of the few English novels written for grown-up people." I call it "ridiculously amazeballs." 

Through it we look at humanity and ourselves, politics, religion, the state of marriage, and basically everything we should be thinking about but find it hard to keep our focus on because instead we're looking at things like this:



Anything else you read of hers is just gravy. Romola is for the diehards who want to look fancy at those cocktail parties where George Eliot is discussed (I'm sure those exist somewhere, and if you find one, please let me know, as I have Some Things to Say about it + translational theory that would totally not kill everyone's buzz at all). Most of the others were mentioned above, except Adam Bede — which consists of more strong men, far-reaching consequences of living unethically, and whiffs of healthy country air — and Daniel Deronda, which is the only one of her works I have not read, because I am SAVING it.

Now go read some Eliot.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Harry Potter Readalong, Tales of Beedle the Bard: "The only surviving woodcut shows that he had an exceptionally luxuriant beard."

I love The Tales of Beedle the Bard, and I am DELIGHTED that the readalong caused some to read it for the first time. JKR is just a magnificent writer who is so very very good at her genre. And so good at fleshing out her universe! Extremely good. The story of the Hogwarts play-gone-wrong? Fantastic. "A proud non-theatrical tradition that Hogwarts continues to this day" (poor theatre nerds).



All the stories are lovely (er, except The Warlock's Hairy Heart, of course) and I want JKR to spend the rest of her life writing other made-up books from the wizarding world and random companion books to HP. That is all I want from her. But that's not exactly an original want.

I do have to say though — "Bertrand de Pensées-Profondes"? JK, what is it with you and disliking the French? Because with the possible exception of Madame Maxime, I feel like you do. Maybe it's the English thing. For those unaware, Bertrand's name translates to 'Bertrand of Deep Thoughts,' which could be called a medieval naming system, but I call it lazy, because Rousseau had NOTHING like that (okay, he might have, because TBH I don't know much about Rousseau, but I don't THINK he did and that's where I'm leaving it). And no, the 18th century isn't medieval, but just go with me here.


 
Aberforth's favorite story was Grumble the Grubby Goat. Excellent. Yes.

The Deathstick is the worst wand name. If that guy would've had some friends and not just killed everybody, they could have advised him on this. "Deathstick is literally the most awful name you could have invented. It's not even a good band name. It's the band name of three guys trying hard but being terrible at trying."

"No witch has never claimed to own the Elder Wand. Make of that what you will." Bless you, JK. Bless you.


phase 1 of my plans for us

EDIT: Would people be down with skipping posting on May 31st? It's the Friday of BEA and it'll make things far easier for those attending.


This post has taken all day

BEA tailgating is coming up at the end of the month, after which I will hopefully have a post about a quest that has been FIVE MONTHS in the making. Quests are the greatest. I used to think of myself as chivalrous (TAKE BACK THE WORD, LADIES, EVEN THOUGH WE DIDN'T HAVE IT ORIGINALLY), but then I turned into something of a lame-o who needs to borrow her friend's jacket when it's cold and I can no longer claim the term. BUT my love of knight-like questing remains. I'll just do it while wearing someone else's jacket.

This New York trip is the most unplanned thing I've ever done. Yes, I have a spreadsheet with my schedule on it, but it has like six things on it for a three day period. How can one GUARANTEE they are going to have fun if one does not schedule all available time? So right now I'm feeling rather adrift, a condition that can surely only be remedied by hanging out a lot with you all who are going to be there. Also by eating things. That'll be good.


And after the reading EXPLOSION that was April, I am in a complete slump for May, mostly because of Singing Things, but also because instead of reading I've been 1) Looking at pictures of Jessica Raine from Call the Midwife, 2) Internet stalking Lindy West of Jezebel fame, 3) Acting like Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. And apparently Cameron doesn't want to read.


just leave me here

And as summer comes to Chicago bit by creeping bit, we emerge from our winter dwellings and start tentatively sniffing the air, culminating in a constant and guilt-induced mantra of "You should be outside, you should be outside, it will be cold again soon and you will be sad you didn't go outside." But I will try to read by the lake. Lake Michigan is Very Big and allows you to contemplate Kant's sublime until some asshole sailboat gets in the way and ruins it. I'm also easily distracted by how you can put your face right by blades of grass and see all the tiny stuff on and around them.But once that stuff's out of the way -- reading.