Why Does Every Literary Novel Have to Be Described As 'Sensual' Nowadays?

Someone put Reese's Pieces in the reception candy bowl. Why would they do that? Of course I'm going to eat them all. Of COURSE.

As I typed that, I accidentally swallowed one whole. Not really a choking hazard, but not pleasant.

SO. Halloween! The day we're supposed to be all into scary things, only I do not like being scared, so boo to that. I'm very Let's Meditate on Happy, Good Things and Not Force Our Minds into Dark Places, which I guess could be an excuse for being a total wuss, but it's a BIBLICAL excuse, so bam (that's Philippians 4:8, for you heathens).

Let's see, candy, scary things, what Halloweenish thing hasn't been covered so far? Oh yeah -- VICTORIAN LESBIAN GHOST NOVELS.

Sarah Waters is the ultimate in respected ladies-loving-ladies authors, because her stuff is awesome. I usually like it because it takes place in Victorian times, and therefore has ladies bein' all "Oh, my stays seem to be a bit tight; would you loosen them for me, Other Lady? I fear I shall swoon." *cue sexual tension*

Affinity is about two 1870s ladies, one of whom is a 29-year-old spinster who lives with her mother and has to deal with her former paramour (also a lady. gasp!) being married to her brother. Oh, and she's a bit unstable. But way smart.

Because she's a Lady of Leisure, and been having some mental problems, her friend is all "Why don't you visit ladies at the lady prison down the road!" And she says "Spiffy" and does so. Where, of course, she meets the OTHER main lady, a medium who's been imprisoned for weirdness (also fraud and assault).

Shenanigans and mindgames ensue. I felt distinctly off-kilter throughout the book, because if you've read any other Waters, you know she likes to be all tricksy, so it's difficult to trust things. Especially since it's like "Wait, was that a ghost? Or some kind of illusion? Are we going at this with the view that ghosts can be real or are we all Francis-Bacon-let's-scientific-method-this-shit?"

I recommend pretty much any Sarah Waters novel, so yeah, read this and be like "I'm learning about the Spiritualist movement!" Plus 'Victorian lesbian ghost novel' piques almost anyone's interest. Oh yeah, I should mention there isn't a lot of lady action. What there is (which is basically nothing) they classify as "thinly veiled erotica." I DISAGREE. The most erotic scene is when they write stuff down while sitting next to each other. And that's all that happens. I demand more heavy breathing and corsets. More!

This cover has more erotic imagery
than the entire book

The Help! I Haven't Read The Help readalong starts tomorrow. And by 'starts' I mean I'm going to do a beginning post, but one isn't supposed to have read any of it yet. For those who haven't found a copy...I mean, I'm of COURSE not recommending this, but...there're PDFs out there, people. 

"Then Miss Lavish said: 'Tut! The early Victorians.' Just imagine! 'Tut! The early Victorians.'"

Some of you might remember how very much I hated The Scarlet Pimpernel, published in 1905 and one of the most sentimental, shitty novels I've ever read. It made me regret my usual stance of pining for a bygone age, because if the people of that age liked Baroness Emmuska Orczy's writing, we would clearly not get along. But A Room With a View, published in 1908, semi-redeems that literary period in English history.

I've long avoided E.M. Forster's novels, partially due to a confusion with English novelist C.S. Forester (how am I not supposed to confuse those two?), who wrote The African Queen, which the 1951 super-awesome Katharine Hepburn/Humphrey Bogart movie was based upon. I read The African Queen while going through my teenage puritanical phase, and my young sensibilities were SHOCKED and thoroughly dismayed by the cavalier nature with which Mr. Forster discusses Katharine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart's characters going to bed with each other. "SEX HAS NO PLACE IN A DECENT NOVEL," my mind thundered.

As a side note, I was also a big teenage proponent of the Hays Code, i.e. the rules that forbade all kinds of licentious behavior in films prior to pretty much the 1950s when things started gettin' all racy. Needless to say, I was not fun at parties.

One of my several issues with this Really Quite Good But at the Same Time Slow, Dragging work is that I don't understand how people in 1908 liked it, unless they were all obsessed with Italy (which, let's admit, there's a good chance they were). I avoided it for years because I hate that long period in English lit where they had Let's Go on a Soul-Enlightening Trip to Italy! novels scattered all around (although I guess we've never left that phase -- I'm looking at you, Under the Tuscan Sun and Eat, Pray, Love). But at least living in 2011, when I started reading it, and Forster referenced the Piazza Signoria, I could and did just google image that shit. Did everyone in England have some kind of intense knowledge of Italian landmarks, so they didn't need to find a picture of it? Forster seems to assume they know all about this one piazza in Florence. Maybe they did.

The piazza apparently EVERYONE KNOWS

I should confess I haven't finished this book yet, but I've watched the second half of the movie, so I feel justified in posting about it.

It has characters who are actually meant to be idiotic, which is a pleasant change from the fricking Pimpernel. They deliver fantastic, pretentious statements while waxing rhapsodic about the countryside, like "Ah, the town! Beautiful as it is, it is the town." There were also some excellent chapter titles, which will make me love a book despite other glaring faults (such as it being really, really boring and having pages and pages of characters sitting around thinking about how bored they are, and QUELLE COINCIDENCE, characters). But yes, "Music, Violets, and the Letter 'S'" you won me over.


There's a lot of looking out at Italian views (NOT SO OFTEN FROM ROOMS -- I could've said 'vistas' there, but that would not have been as amusing) and the main character Lucy having no idea how she feels ever, and lots of repressed Edwardian people trying to reinforce their repressedness on the next generation, but that generation is RESISTING. In general, you feel like the author is intelligent and Somehow Knows What He's Doing, which is nice.

Actually, this is one of the few books that's made me interested in its author. I feel like I would like him more than the book. C.S. Forster, I will be reading about you on Wikipedia and assuming everything I read is true because I refuse to exercise my research skills beyond that point.

Of Mysterious Circuses and Gay Teens

As I have commented to several people, I seem to have gotten more reading done after the Readathon than during it. Why this is, I do not know, although it's entirely possible that not being in the same house with my parents has something to do with it, as my father spent most of Readathon Day asking me about dinner and Christmas plans, and my mother spent it asking me if I wanted an electric blanket or, failing that, fleece sheets (answers: no and GOOD GOD YES).

Anyway, I finished more books. Which is good. Here are thoughts, as this is a book blog and should probably have fewer '80s music videos on it and more booky things:

The Night Circus

O, Night Circus cover! How very pretty you are! I mean, I dunno what to say. My essential thoughts are that it was good-but-not-great. I'm not upset I read it, like I was with the terrible Time Traveler's Wife, but I don't think it's something that MUST be read by all. I kind of think of it as the book version of Avatar, only not nearly as terrible and with no giant blue Native American people. Its purpose seems to be to have invented a place that makes you say "Hey, I super-want to go there!" And then have you suffer depression because it isn't real. If you're a total pansy.

So yes, I would totally go to the Night Circus if it existed, even though with my 8-5 job, I have become a 70-year-old who thinks staying out until midnight is done by no one, because what a ridiculous hour that is. Erin Morgenstern's ideas are LITERALLY fantastic. I wasn't quite feeling the love story, but maybe I just suck. It's really readable, and you can get through it quickly. I THINK I recommend it, if only for ambiance.

Will Grayson, Will Grayson

You know how a while ago everyone was all "WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON" and they would have said it twice, but that would've just been too much? Yeah, I ignored that, and now I can confess how COMPLETELY WRONG I WAS. This was probably one of my favorite books of the year. I mean, okay, I've given 9/50 books five out of five stars on Goodreads, but that's still not THAT many. I will even go so far as to say this was better than Shit My Dad Says, and that's a damn fine book.

Okay, for those unaware of any WG/WG details, I will give them out, because you really should have this book in your life. The story alternates between two teenage guys named Will Grayson living in Illinois (repreSENT), and then their stories kinda...intersect. Which doesn't sound interesting but it is. There's a reason I don't often review books on here.

But for reals, even though one of the WGs can be seen as kiiiind of really annoying and emo and generally teenagery, I still sorta loved him. Even with his emo-ness, he had lines like this  summary of Law & Order:

lawyer: dude, the cord knocked this microscopic piece of skin off your hand while you were strangling her, and we ran it under the microscope and found out that you’re totally fucked.

It has truth and loveliness and hilarity. Read it.


HERE ENDETH THE LESSON.

"and this was the least pleasant feeling in the world."

I have great amounts of love for YA lit. But a specific kind of it, which is what I'm going to term "fanciful and well-written lit for 10 to 12-year olds."

Part of it is assuredly centered in nostalgia, but the other part is that good books are good books. I might have a different reaction to The Mysterious Benedict Society now than I would have when I was 12 (or at least I hope I do), but it's still a Very Good Book and I thoroughly enjoyed it from my current vantage point.

Someone on twitter was discussing atrocities performed on Gaddafi before he was killed, and it made me think of A Series of Unfortunate Events. For those unfamiliar, it's semi-gothic, extremely funny, and consists of 13 books. The first nine are excellent. The others are okay until we got to the last one, entitled The End. I hate The End. It sucks. If I ever meet Daniel Handler, I'm going to scream at him, despite all the good work he did in the others.

...but that is not related to what happened to Gaddafi. The thing I remembered from Unfortunate Events is that in one of the later books, the Baudelaire siblings are met with a difficult decision. They can use underhanded tactics to capture one of the many villains out to get them, or...not. Every. Other. Children's book I've read would have had no problem with them capturing a villain and using them as collateral or what-have-you to achieve their ends, because obviously the protagonists' motives are purer than the dastardly villains', so we support what helps them win. 

"We're not in a pleasant situation," Violet said, and the eldest Baudelaire was right. It was not pleasant... But the least pleasant part of the situation wasn't the cold dirt, or the freezing winds, or even their own exhaustion as it grew later and the children dug deeper and deeper. The least pleasant part was the idea, shared by the two Baudelaires and their new friend, that they might be doing a villainous thing. The siblings were not sure if digging a deep pit to trap someone, in order to trade prisoners with a villain, was something that their parents would do.... As they looked at the villainous thing they had made, the three volunteers could not help wondering if they were villains, too, and this was the least pleasant feeling in the world.

Utterly fantastic. Don't act like villains, because then we are villains. That section almost even redeems the final book for me (although not quite, so Daniel Handler, you watch yourself if we meet).

I leave you with two other quotes from that book (The Slippery Slope), because they are wonderful.

"'I know that having a good vocabulary doesn't guarantee that I'm a good person,' the boy said. 'But it does mean that I've read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.'"

“A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poem called 'The Road Less Traveled', describing a journey he took through the woods along a path most travelers never used. The poet found that the road less traveled was peaceful but quite lonely, and he was probably a bit nervous as he went along, because if anything happened on the road less traveled, the other travelers would be on the road more frequently traveled and so couldn't hear him as he cried for help. Sure enough, that poet is dead.” 

Wherein Those Participating Are Awesome

Oh, calloo callay, readalong preparation posting! I know you're all just fraught with excitement, so I thought I'd post now as we're just about a week away from its beginning.

I couldn't find this book at the Open Books warehouse sale. And there's a way long line for it at the library, so today I sucked it up and bought it for Kindle.

I HAVE A SCHEDULE PREPARED. This book is 34 chapters, totaling 444 pages in hardcover. *does double take* WHAT? Ok. Well. It's good we have a month to read it then, isn't it?

We begin on the glorious day of November 1st, aka All Saints' Day. This is a Tuesday. What an auspicious day for beginning! I'll have a post here and whoever wants can comment on expectations/general thoughts pre-reading.

We check in every Tuesday, except for the last week, which is a Wednesday. Here's how I've broken it down thus far:

Nov 1st-8th: Chapters 1-9

Nov 9th-15th: Chapters 10-19

Nov 16th-22nd: Chapters 20-28

Nov 23rd-30th: Chapters 29-34

Look at that immensely doable breakdown. This is going to be super-awesome, and we shall have Simultaneously Deep and Elevated Discussions About the Nature of Man and the Eternal Battles Between the Races.

Readathon Recap

Phew. Well. I went to bed around 1, which I had kind of sort of totally been expecting, BUT some amazing people stayed up and up and up (looking at you, Laura). The main thing I wanted to get out of this was a deeper sense of community among the book bloggers and that...sort of happened? Kind of? Mostly on twitter?

Anyway, here's my very last posting on it for this year. I'm sure your Google Reader feeds have been slowly getting back to normal. I would like to point out that some people posted updates every hour, so REALLY this wasn't terrifically bad. Also that I love you all and shall provide you with snacks if we ever meet in person. There, that makes things better, right? Right.

End of Event Meme

1. Which hour was most daunting for you?

I mean, in terms of when I was actually participating, sadly enough, probably from 10-11 pm. I was really exhausted and falling asleep while reading about the congratulatory party for Pooh.

2. Could you list a few high-interest books that you think could keep a Reader engaged for next year?

Er...well, Winnie the Pooh is both short and hilarious.

3. Do you have any suggestions for how to improve the Read-a-thon next year?

I think we need to be better about going to unknown people's blogs and cheering for them. I "met" some new people yesterday, and that was awesome, but it's a bit daunting to look at the giant List o' Readathon Participants and just start clicking. I think some kind of randomizer you could click on and get sent to someone's blog would be cool.

4. What do you think worked really well in this year’s Read-a-thon?

Let's go with the way they've worked out time zones. If I were less lazy, I could totally have done 7 am, which was apparently the CST starting point. As it was, of course, I woke up at 9.

5. How many books did you read?

Two and part of one...

6. What were the names of the books you read?

Catching Fire, Winnie the Pooh, and part of Happy Accidents by Jane Lynch.

7. Which book did you enjoy most?

Winnie the Pooh. Milne's sense of humor is amazing. I need more of it. More!

8. Which did you enjoy least?

I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that I didn't read a ton of books and I very much enjoyed all the ones I did read.

9. If you were a Cheerleader, do you have any advice for next year’s Cheerleaders?

Not applicable obviously, but I'm totally going to be a cheerleader at the next readathon.

10. How likely are you to participate in the Read-a-thon again? What role would you be likely to take next time?

Well, there I go, answering questions too early. I definitely want to take part in the spring readathon. Hopefully I can take the following Monday off work or something so I don't have to worry about staying up late. And let me repeat myself on the cheerleader thing, because nothing makes me happier than shouting encouragement to people as I sit on the sidelines.

Readathon the Third and Final Chapter (...Until I Do a Recap Tomorrow)

I am tired. I am lame. I am going to pass out to Parks and Recreation. But for those of you who are unlame, and for those who aren't doing the readathon but want VIDEO AWESOMENESS, I offer you the following:

I know what you're thinking. Harry Potter? A song from a video game? How could that be good? BUT IT IS. And I scoured the internet for an mp3 of that song, because it is amazing.

I've finished:

Catching Fire, Suzanne Collins

Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne

And they were both fantastic. I giggled approximately a billion times during Winnie the Pooh. Example:

"Christopher Robin!" he said in a loud whisper.

"Hallo!"

"I think the bees suspect something!"

I'm going to try to read some more of Happy Accidents, but I absolutely must go to sleep soon. I think I did about 300 pages? Which is, of course, padded, as Winnie the Pooh has a huge number of illustrations and fun textual layout that takes up space. But whatevs, I'm countin' it.

And, of course, how could I be any kind of a decent book blogger/readathoner if I didn't repost what we all know to be the greatest song of all time (and so apt for those of you who're awesome and continuing on):

Listen to that and TRY not to feel better about everything ever in life. You will fail.

Readathon, The Second Part

Ok, it's almost 7 p.m., which technically means I should've been reading for 12 hours. Has that happened? Well, no. But I DID go for a walk with my mother, go to dinner with my brother, and am now going out for a second dinner (no, I'm not eating) with my dad and other brother. Because of course today is the day everyone decides to socialize.

BUT. I HAVE FINISHED CATCHING FIRE, meaning my goal is done. Next up is Winnie the Pooh. Yeah, that's right. I've never read it, it's always on my readathon lists, I have a really nice copy of it, and I finally want to read it, damnit.

For those actually still reading, I AM MEGA PROUD OF YOU and shall reflect this in comments posted in your blogs soon. For now, have this thing I stole off a readathon cheerleader's site, 'cause, y'know, it's a Doctor Who episode (series 2, episode Tooth and Claw — watch it):

 

And that is why I love that show.

Lastly, I think we could all do with a Rick Astley dance party. SO LET'S GO, PEOPLE.

edit: MID-EVENT SURVEY

1. What are you reading right now? 

Winnie the Pooh!

2. How many books have you read so far? 

Er, one, Catching Fire, that I'd kind of already started, BUT IT STILL COUNTS. And it was awesome.

3. What book are you most looking forward to for the second half of the Read-a-thon?

 I'm really enjoying Winnie the Pooh. But I'm also hoping to get to at least part of Happy Accidents, by Jane Lynch.

 
4. Did you have to make any special arrangements to free up your whole day? 

Well. I kept telling my family that I needed to read today, but that only seemed to incite them to come up with more activities that needed doing.

5. Have you had many interruptions? How did you deal with those? 

I have completely rolled over on all of them, as I love my parents and only see them once a month (yes, I said "only"). Therefore, I have not in fact done much reading.

6. What surprises you most about the Read-a-thon, so far? 

Ummmm I'm actually looking for more interaction with people, but that's partially my fault since I haven't been seeking people out to cheer on.

7. Do you have any suggestions for how to improve the Read-a-thon next year? Why, no.

8. What would you do differently, as a Reader or a Cheerleader, if you were to do this again next year? 

I think I'd actually sign up as a Cheerleader next year, as it seems quite fun and is more the thing I like doing (i.e. posting things on the internet). As a reader, I do like the idea of getting a hotel room and holing up, so I hope to do that.

9. Are you getting tired yet? 

No, but I also know I'm not staying up past 1.

10. Do you have any tips for other Readers or Cheerleaders, something you think is working well for you that others may not have discovered?
Er...no. And so ends this inspiring survey. You're welcome.

READ-A-THON

Is anyone surprised I woke up at 9 instead of 7? I think not. LET'S DO THIS.

I think it's a good idea to edit posts and then do new ones every few hours, which is an idea I'm stealing from Ingrid at The Blue Bookcase.

Hour Supposed-to-Be 8.5

Yeah, sooo...I've been reading Catching Fire on and off, with kiiind of a lot of breaks as my various family members want to do things. But it's such a lovely fall day outside! And there were walks to be taken and leaves to be joyously kicked!

Let's do the Music Bath challenge.

1. What song does the book I’m reading right now remind me of?
 I don't have an unclichéd answer. The first thing that came to mind for The Hunger Games was 'Eye of the Tiger' by Survivor.

2. What song does my favorite book remind me of?
Er...well, that's sort of cheating, because there's a musical version of Auntie Mame (cleverly entitled 'Mame'), but it's the song Open a New Window from that that I think best tells what Auntie Mame's all about.

3. Can I find a connection between one of my favorite songs and a story I like?
One of my favorite songs is Origin of Love from Hedwig and the Angry Inch, mainly because it itself TELLS a story. It's based on Aristophanes' speech in Plato's Symposium, and I love it muchly.

Hour 2.5 (and my first post):

1. Where are you reading from today?
My parents' home in Champaign, Illinois. Land of Corn and a Couple Hours from the Nearest Abraham Lincoln Location

2. Three Random Facts about me...
1) I decided I was going to be an opera singer when I was 13 and have carried on ever since.

2) I hate olives. A lot.

3) Chicago is my favorite despite our shitty weather because it's easy to negotiate as a city, not too crowded, we have decent public transit, a giant lake that looks like an ocean, nice museums and a fantastic library.

3. How many books do you have in your TBR pile for the next 24 hours?
Maybe like eight? It's gonna be good times getting at least one finished.

4. Do you have any goals for the readathon?
Getting two finished! That'd be swell. As my family probably won't permit me to actually read for 24 hours.

5. If you're a veteran readathoner, any advice for people doing this for the first time?
First time doing this. SI SE PUEDE, as they say in the Disney Channel Original Movie Gotta Kick It Up.

Behold! As I Get Things Done and Prepare for Lengthy Reading

I'm in Champaign, Illinois instead of my beloved, noisy, crowded and cold Chicago. I decided to update, and as I was just typing this, my little (15-year-old) brother looked over my shoulder and said "Reading Rambo? Rambo doesn't read. Or maybe he does. We never really knew."

So true, little brother.

In preparation for the readathon, I have endeavored to accomplish the things I assumed would slow me down tomorrow. Therefore, today I have:

1. Ordered pizza.

2. Watched many, many episodes of Doctor Who.

3. Had the How's Your Future Shaping Up discussion with my dad.

I've been trying to read a bit, because I know I won't be able to READ ALL THE THINGS tomorrow, no matter how much I might want to.

I knew someone would've made this

I plan on going around and shouting encouraging things at those of you participating. And I feel like yelling at people like Red with "WHY ARE YOU SO LAME?" (love youuu) even if you all have perfectly good reasons for why you're not participating, such as 'I needed to focus on my sittin' around time.'

So! Encouraging things! WE CAN DO THIS. Read mightily. Go forth into the world and sit and stare at paper. Or at a cleverly-designed device that has a screen that looks like paper. Eat snacks. TAKE BREAKS AND REST THINE EYES.

May God have mercy on us all.

Why Readathons Never Actually Work for Me

The 24 hour readathon is swiftly approaching, and I have started pondering how the day's going to go. I'm on Central Standard Time (i.e. The Best Time), so I'm technically supposed to start at 7. But I'll be visiting my parents. Judging by my knowledge of me -- which is fairly extensive -- and my family members -- which is extensive enough -- this is how I see the day going down:

9 a.m. - Awaken two hours late and immediately feel guilty for staying up late with my 15-year-old brother Brandon the night before, watching Doctor Who and eating tacos. Despite said guilt, I will immediately search for my laptop that surely fell off my bed some time in the night,as I have the hideous habit of falling asleep with my laptop open on my bed.

9:30 a.m. - Finish checking social media sites and maybe pick up one of several books that have surely also fallen off my bed. I store a lot of things on my bed.

10 a.m. - 12 p.m. - Consider my half hour of reading good enough, give myself reward of chocolate chip pancakes.

12 p.m. - 4 p.m. - Halfheartedly pick up book again. Put it down when Brandon calls me a tool for reading because he wants to watch more Doctor Who. Watch more Doctor Who.

4 p.m. - 6p.m. - Feel very guilty indeed, proceed to do the only actual reading I will do all day.

6 p.m. - Rest of the Day - Order pizza, argue over the tv, have How's Your Future Shaping Up discussion with my dad, get yelled at by my mother for arguing over the tv. Pass out at midnight and wake up after the readathon's over.

Despite this knowledge, I will be bringing approximately a million books with me to my parents'. Because I live in hope.

I'm Not OPENING a Book to Find Out If It's Good

I'm reading two books right now that I'd recommend to pretty much anyone. Not in a 'YOU HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK IT WILL BE YOUR FAVORITE OMG' kind of way, but in a 'these are just kind of objectively good and I think everyone will at least enjoy them' way.

Those are, of course, The Night Circus and Will Grayson, Will Grayson. Just read them. At some point. They're really good. Well. At least halfway through, which is how far I am in each one. If the second halves suck, not my fault.

Now, let's see. Top Ten Tuesday, book covers that made me pick up the book. This SHOULD be easy since I judge books by their covers like nobody's business, but my brain, she is lazy. Let's see what I can recall.

The Children's Book, A.S. Byatt - So...I haven't exactly read this yet. But I bought it the week it came out, because POSSESSION, YOU ARE THE GREATEST BOOK EVER. And look at the cover. LOOK AT IT. I would've bought this if I'd never heard of Byatt, because the cover is gorgeous.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Seth Grahame-Smith - We all know what that cover looks like, right? Yeah, it's great. Not so into what Grahame-Smith did with the text itself, but eh.

The Mysterious Benedict Society, Trenton Lee Stewart - Mmm, illustrations by Carson Ellis, aka the Lady Who Draws for The Decemberists. I'm generally on the lookout for attractive YA covers, i.e. ones that look like this. *points to the left* It took me an oddly high number of times of going to the bookstore and looking at it before I finally bought it. And then LOVED IT, because the Mysterious Benedict Society series is amazing. And the illustrations are all just unique and awesome. Mmm, creative fiction for 10-12-year-olds, I enjoy you.

Soulless, Gail Carriger - Look at that. How am I NOT supposed to read that? Parasols, late 19th century dresses and the promise of steampunk + werewolves. Of course, as we all discovered, it's basically just fanfic, meaning I quickly stopped caring about the kind-of-lame plot and just wanted the main characters to do it. Which is not that I want out of my for-reals books. Boo. I do still enjoy the series covers, though.

The Monsters of Templeton, Lauren Groff - This is one of the few books I HAD to read because of the cover. I mean, most of the others, the cover was a big inducement, but I seriously love this cover. And the book doesn't suck! I quite enjoyed it, despite not having read any of the Leatherstocking Tales, and thus probably missing a good deal of the references. But yeah. Great book. Fabulous cover.

The Vesuvius Club, Mark Gatiss - I loved the beginning of this and then it kind of...petered off. But it's funny enough, and I do love the font used for the cover. Again, pretty much whatever lately that's evocative of the 1870s-1910, I'm all over. What is that, Art Nouveau? I suck at distinguishing artistic things, but Nouveau has all the loopy things, so let's go with that.

Anything Vintage Publishes - Omg. Any cover I see that's gorgeous, I assume it's by Vintage. I was first exposed to them when I had to buy eight -- EIGHT -- Nabokov books for my English 455 'Major Authors' class. They were all published by Vintage, and the covers were so pretty I started looking for other books published by them. I trust Vintage more than almost any other publisher, so if they publish a book, I assume it at least KIND of doesn't suck.

Matilda, Roald Dahl - Okay, I don't actually remember if it was the cover that made me read this, or just my brother being all over everything Roald Dahl wrote, but look at that. NOSTALGIA. Which equals happiness. Most people list Matilda as their favorite Dahl book. Mine might be The Witches, but Matilda is completely wonderful and amazing, and QUENTIN BLAKE ILLUSTRATIONS. Roald Dahl would not be the same Roald Dahl in my head without Quentin Blake's illustrations.

Wicked, Gregory Maguire - Oh, cover-judging, how you backfired upon me! I hate this book. It's heavy-handed in its attempts to get political, the thinly-veiled parallels to our current society are ridiculous and out of place, and pretty much everything about it pissed me off. That being said, the musical has some very catchy songs.

More Books? Sure, Why Not.

This pile is Julie's fault.

Our favorite bookstore, Open Books, had a warehouse sale. This means they had a big room with books laid next to each other in absolutely no particular order, so you had to scan every single book. So it was like treasure hunting for books. That's just not safe.

I went in having just purchased a bunch of books at another sale, so I thought 'Well. I'll get maybe a couple, see if they have The Help, but let's not load ourselves down with even more books that will sit on the shelf for forever and a day, because, missy, you already over over 150 unread books on your shelves — oh, I've counted! — and this will only add to the problem.'

You can see from the picture on the left that I completely suck at everything.

We ended up going halfsies on a boxful for $30, so this pile cost me $15. Let's list them, shall we?

Death Comes for the Archbishop, Willa Cather

Reading Lolita in Tehran, Azar Nafisi

Anna Karenina, Tolstoy

The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency, Alexander McCall Smith

Holes, Louis Sachar

Daughter of Fortune, Isabel Allende

The Reader, Bernhard Schlink

Bridget Jones's Diary, Helen Fielding

The Spiral Staircase, Karen Armstrong

Up in the Air, Walter Kirn

The Adams Women, Paul Nagel

Testament of Youth, Vera Brittain

The Optimist's Daughter, Eudora Welty

1776, David McCullough

The only one I've already read is Bridget Jones, and I did quite enjoy it, but I gave my copy away, so yay new copy. Others have been either recommended, or I'm fond of their cover. *cough*DaughterofFortune*cough*

It's now time to continue my Doctor Who marathon, that has already had me weeping on my couch, crying "Sarah Jaaaaane!" and being generally over-invested in a tv show.

Real Life Interferes With Burying One's Head in Books

I've got all kinds of tumbly feelings inside because of a singing competition I'm in tomorrow (ah, opera), so it's been a bit hard to for-reals blog this week. I know you've all felt the loss.

True to form, I have started a ridiculous number of books and finished none. Here's what I've worked on this week:

Happy Accidents, Jane Lynch: How can you not love Jane Lynch? I mean, yeah, Glee sucks, but she doesn't. And her book is super-easy to read AND entertaining, which is really all I ask for.

Will Grayson, Will Grayson, Green & Levithan: I believe I've mentioned how I avoided this before, because while I AM pro-gay boys doing what they want, I don't really want to read about it. But then someone (er...do not remember who anymore) posted a review that actually kind of said what it was about, and that looked interesting. I have the Kindle version checked out from the library and I really love it so far.

The Night Circus, Erin Morgenstern: Does anyone else think of The Princess Bride every time they see the author's name? Anyway, I'm way into the 1870s-1910 right now, and THIS TAKES PLACE DURING THAT TIME. Which I did not know. And it doesn't take place ONLY then, but...yes. Anyway. Bustles and gloves and all sorts of fun things. Plus magic!

I still have Sophie's Choice, Catching Fire and something called The Victoria Vanishes, which I started the other day at lunch. I'm getting majorly behind on my reading, mainly because at home I have to practice going "Lalalala" and then at work I'm too distracted by Saturday events to read. BUT, after Saturday, I should have some time. So that's lovely.

I Love Everyone and Books, and They're Both Not Here, BUT Both Are On the Internet

I love my book blogging peoples. Why do ALL OF YOU live foreverly far away? Mostly in New England. And some in Actual England. I'm usually a very satisfied Midwest-dweller ('Midwesterner' is gross) but when someone posts something hilarious or makes their general loveliness as a person evident, I am saddened that I cannot gather them up and drag them to the Open Books warehouse sale this Saturday and then on to food. Instead I'm stuck with Julie, who is indeed a book blogger, but we met through a Craigslist ad I posted about finding a roommate (we didn't room together, but found each other awesome anyway, so now we are friends), and is therefore not a book blogger friend. Alas. This is why we all need to go to BEA next year and room together and then ATTACK ALL THE FREE BOOKS. ALL OF THEM SHALL BE OURS. THERE IS STRENGTH IN NUMBERS.

Speaking of books (on my book blog too!), Dewey's Read-a-Thon is coming up. The timing's kind of perfect. I'm going to my parents' that weekend, and there is almost NOTHING to do in my hometown, so I plan on eating a lot and reading from among the following books:

Happy Accidents, Jane Lynch

Catching Fire, Suzanne Collins

Mockingjay, Suzanne Collins

Daisy Miller, Henry James

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls, Steve Hockensmith

Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne

I'm sure there're others. And knowing me and my slow-animal-that-is-not-a-cliched-snail like reading speed, I'll get through maybe one of my books. But I shall TRY, damnit. And that's apparently the important thing. Having the family I have, I will no doubt be interrupted with cries of "SHENANIGANS!", at which time it is required that all drop what they're doing and go out for milkshakes, and my little brother will want to play videogames, which I DO NOT DO, but overall I will totally get some reading done, as well as cheering on whoever else is participating.

Speaking of which, IS anyone participating?

Flipping Between Victorian Lit and Fanfiction

I think as we observe our reading selves, we learn a bit about what kind of reader we are.

I'm a shitty reader. I read in order to have read. What can I say? I like checking things off lists, even if they're lists that only exist in the Ethereal Space Around Alice's Head and not fun real ones I get to draw lines through.

And this is why fanfic is maybe the most relaxing and enjoyable thing I read. Reading fanfic is not impressive in the least. It's an activity that one probably isn't supposed to admit to people, but I've been doing it so long that that social acceptability filter didn't grow in properly, and here we are.

The thing about fanfic is that yes, it's one of the lowest forms of writing, if not the lowest. And bad fanfic is the worst thing you'll ever see, because it (presumably, since you chose to read it) involves characters you love, and when they're written terribly, something inside you screams. 'WHY ARE THEY DOING THAT; SHE WOULD NEVER DO THAT. DEAR GOD, MAKE IT STOP.'

Because this kind of adverse reaction can happen, fanfiction is a tricky genre to navigate. If you stumble upon an author who's really, really amazingly excellent, then you can ask them for recs, and then those people for recs, and so on and so on until you've established a nice Well-Written Fanfiction path from which you never need stray. But otherwise you just blindly walk into a minefield of bad grammar, incorrect characterization, and script-format pieces, all profoundly terrible.

I write this because, due to the trickiness and general pitfalls, I'm not a frequent reader of fanfiction. And there is of course the added necessity of characters you care about so much you want to read internet-written stories about them. Because Life Is Busy, I don't find these characters often. But last week, I found Doctor Who and River Song, and now I'm thoroughly immersed in fanfic and it's wonderful. Good writing is swell, and I will giggle with happiness when I find a particularly well-put-together phrase. But do I stay up until 2:30 in the morning reading George Eliot? No. I stay up until 2:30 reading about River Song and the Doctor making out in the Tardis. 

I end with a fanvid that should at the very least convince your that Professor River Song, archaeologist and space traveler, is one of the most kickass female characters ever. And she's apparently played by That Lady from ER! Oh, and her first episode takes place in a library, so BEHOLD, BOOKISH PEOPLE (which would be all of you, as this is, of course, a book blog). This show should be watched.

Listening to Wicked. This Is Not a Proud Moment for Me.

But you guys — you GUYS. Night Circus. I am enjoying it.

The Burgess sisters arrive together. Tara and Lainie do a little bit of everything. Sometimes dancers, sometimes actresses. Once they were librarians, but that is a subject they will only discuss if heavily intoxicated.

I HAD TO PAUSE MY READING EXPERIENCE, SUCH WAS MY ENJOYMENT.

It's actually way, way different than I was expecting it to be, but I've somewhat assiduously avoided spoilers, so I don't know where I got what I expected it to be except...maybe...the snazzy cover? Not that the text itself isn't snazzy. But it's...different.

You can't tell from this, but the cover is SO SHINY.

And yes, you can 'somewhat' assiduously do something. Don't question me.

It's Sunday night, which means not that many people are online, which means maybe no one will care if I post this, THE GREATEST INTERNET THING EVER:

Night, all.

Fancy Authors I Would Have to Dinner

If you could invite any three literary figures from different eras to a Sunday Dinner who would they be?

I usually avoid the Literary Blog Hop because the questions intimidate me far too much. My blogging is about me typing whatever comes to mind, not sitting down and really thinking through a question, formulating some kind of response in my mind and carefully typing it out and revising it along the way. If I operated that way, do you think I'd be posting songs from Mannequin? And how much poorer we all would be.

But this week's is easy enough for me to do. I mean, if I wanted to do it right, I'd painstakingly consider all the variables, make a top ten list, and then slowly narrow it down to three.

As it stands, I scanned my Goodreads books and then chose three people based on how much I've wanted to yell at them/kiss their feet.

You know, I've never really been into meeting authors. I've heard enough stories about them turning out to be assholes and ruining their works for people that I'm not one to jump at the chance. That being said, the only authors I've met have been Orson Scott Card and Elizabeth Kostova, and they were both lovely people. So maybe I need to stop being such a Judgey McJudgerson and just answer the question.

"Eras" is tricky. Which means I'm going to cheat. Number one on my list is going to be Patrick Dennis, as he was supposed to be delightful at dinner parties AND wrote my favorite book of ever, Auntie Mame. He's hilarious and clever and an excellent writer. When he lost his money late in life, he became a butler, which he apparently enjoyed. Anyway, he'd keep people appeased and conversation going.

Number two, and I'm slightly cheating because their eras overlap, but she's still 30 years older than he is, Dorothy L. Sayers. Oh, Sayers! You were a Christian humanist and just so utterly fantastic. The first thing I read of hers, weirdly enough, was not the Lord Peter Wimsey series, but her translation of The Song of Roland, which was great. I thoroughly enjoyed it. And then I found out that oh, she writes detective novels too. She would be open-minded enough not to set off Patrick Dennis, and she'd be well-versed enough in the Classics to have a decent conversation with:

George Eliot. Oh, Georgy. So smart and so unattractive. She is honestly MAYBE the most intelligent female author I've read. I emphasize female because for her time (1819-1880) it was, of course, not the fashion for women to be all up in smartitude. At least not to the extent she was. But she's also the Queen of 19th c. Fanfic, and I have some questions for her. Like why's she so into men of the land with clear brows and sturdy, capable hands? Why did she think Romola was in any way a good idea? And could she please rewrite Middlemarch with more kissing scenes?

If I had written this list when I was 16, the answer would be Charlotte Bronte, Charlotte Bronte and Charlotte Bronte. I am not kidding when I say my Jane Eyre-obsessed self used to have imaginary conversations with her about her life and book. And yes, I'm now aware of how very weird that was. But if you were one of the enormous number of 16-year-old girls who makes a period of her life entirely about Jane Eyre, then you should understand. Because that book is the HEIGHT of love and angst when you're a teenager and therefore an idiot.

Man. That dinner party would kick ass.

In Which I Again Ask You Guys to Suggest Things

Julie over at Contractually Obligated to Like Books and I went to see The Spirit Play last night, which is a lovely play about the 19th century Spiritualist movement in America. It's set in Illinois (repreSENT) and concerns a medium, her "brother", and a respectable group of people holding a seance. She, her brother (read: actually husband) and sister, who plays a ghost during the seances, use the standard tricks of the time to make money off people looking for connection with the dead, but then Jane (the medium) starts getting real communications from the spirit world. 

It was pretty kickass. And obviously seasonally appropriate.

Which brings me to my question: Any favorite ghost stories/novels? I checked out Affinity from the library last night, because I'm a big ol' Sarah Waters fan, but I mean, I haven't even really read any Poe. So my knowledge of ghosty things is lacking, to say the least. And no, I haven't read any Wilkie Collins. I know, I KNOW, but I haven't. Yet.

"Oh, is that your Bible? Would you read something from it?"

"'God bless us, every one!'"

"I knew Dickens must have lifted it from somewhere."

Left to My Own Devices, I'd Do Nothing But Watch Bad '80s Movies and Read Dickens

For some reason, Tuesday feels rough this week. But I guarantee this will make you feel better (unless you're a heartless monster):

Every time I hear this song, I grin like an idiot and sway while lip synching, for only I and the dulcet strains of celestial music from the ever-acclaimed (by me) film Mannequin exist. Yeah, I'm at work, but they can deal.
The Night Circus finally came in at the library, and I read the introduction expecting, I dunno, whirling sparklers to leap out of the pages and do a dance, because OMG people love this book and that's obviously the only explanation I could think of. The first few pages are interesting, and I'm expecting it to get better. SO HIGH MY EXPECTATIONS ARE. We shall see how it goes.
Let's do a new thing called What Did Alice Add to Her To-Read Pile This Week?

• The Discovery of France, Graham Robb - I saw a real-person review (shh, it's a thing) of this and it looked good. Plus despite French lit being half my major, I know shit all about French history. "Oops" indeed. Apparently it's a geographical history of France. I suck at geography more than maybe any other subject, but let's do it anyway!

• Will Grayson, Will Grayson, John Green - Because this has been labeled a gay dude book, I've stayed away from it. I have nothing against gay dudes. I hope they're very happy. But I have literally ZERO interest in reading about their exploits. However, I recently read an article about this that made it sound like, y'know, not just a gay teen coming to terms with his sexuality. So I will now read it because everyone seems to love it.

Oh, and like two weeks ago I added Cocktail Hour Under the Tree of Forgetfulness because Emily at As the Crowe Flies (And Reads) recommended it, EVEN THOUGH I'm not into African lit. Look at you all expanding my reading horizons.