Walt Whitman and Thomas Hardy would be terrible roommates

You all ever read any Thomas Hardy? I did. I read Tess of the d'Urbervilles (which is an IRONIC TITLE, by the way), and if you will remember, did this to the cover because the whole thing is too fucking sad:

You think anyone was ever like: 

"Hey Tom. Tom. Tom. Want to maybe take a walk in a glade? Drink some vitamin C? Get a happier outlook on life?"

"No."

In my continuing If Authors from the Past Were College Roommates series (I know two does not really equal a series, leave me alone), let's look at Walt Whitman and Thomas Hardy.

Whitman: "Eighteen years and now I am here!
Eighteen years and all so radiant
Eighteen years of life, and now we need to figure out
Who gets the desk by the window."

Hardy: 

Whitman: "I am a Nautilus, an ever-curving shell

Life is joyous and I will Celebrate it

Let's go to that luau they're having this evening.

(also I really want that desk)"

Hardy: 

Whitman: "Have you pondered the atoms of the universe? Have you figured out your

    class schedule?

Have you decided if we will be investing in a mini-fridge?

These things are important, Hardy."

Hardy:

Whitman: "I sing myself, and what I sing

Informs you that I will be taking the desk 

Since you are refusing to answer me.

And also if there is a sock on our faux oak door in the future

Go away."

Hardy:

Whitman: "A child said Where is the luau? searching for it with

Wide eyes;

How could I answer the child? I do not know any

   more than he.

I probably should have grabbed a flyer."

Hardy: 

Whitman: "I do contain multitudes. Now I go down

To ask the front desk guy -- whose hair is bright as a duckling's eiderdown

Where the luau is. Do not mess with my things.

   And maybe take a shower."